Ssanasipreh (or: thoughts on the maturity of sock puppet accounts)

Note: this post was so good I thought I'd resurrect it. I may do that from time to time. Herp

It's interesting to me -- for years I was the primary administrator for Ann Coulter on her forums. Made a lot of enemies for insisting that posters follow the rules and guidelines, apparently. When a bunch of them got to Coulter and whined about my bad behavior like liberal girly-boys (Ann should appreciate that one) after my having worked for her for free for over half a decade, she threw me and the rest of my fellow admins out on our collective ears. And that was fine, as it wasn't my forum. I had dedicated quite a lot of my life to protecting Coulter's Christlike (as in: once you agree to do all her work for her, she doesn't talk to you again for about 2000 years) image, and once they finally managed to get rid of me (they gleefully called it a "coup" at the time) one would think it should have been enough for them. Apparently, however, my very presence on the Internet damaged their psyches and self-esteem so irreparably that they feel the need to follow me around the net just to remind me that they're still out there.



There are various sites out there, social clubs pretending to be weighty political sites, where the members demand the right to insult and degrade people. Mob rule is FUN! Once the dust had settled and a few of us began yet a NEW site to throw around political issues for discussion, a few people went NUTS, lol. I've always maintained that the best revenge against someone who harms you is to do well, and to ignore them. In this case my belief holds true. They just can't stand it. It kills them to think that I give them less thought than I do to my morning assblast, and that, believe it or not, life went on for me. About ten seconds after I ended my association with those people.


"Ssanasipreh" is one of the latest sock puppet accounts (note to newbies: "sock puppets" are alternate accounts created by posters who dishonestly don't want people to know who they really are, typically created to either "spy" on forums or start problems, no matter how momentary) started on Outcast Conservatives, a small political forum where people are invited to discuss the day's issues. Yes, there's a section where you must be a member to participate, but the rest of the forums are viewable by the public, in case they're interested (in other words, to "find out" what's being said, all they have to do is click on the link to the forums -- they don't NEED to create an account). For the most part I've found that smaller forums are better forums. They're a lot less work, and you can get to "know" people a little more -- at least as much as one is able to "know" anyone on the internet. The forum was recently completely restarted due to a corruption in the database, and this allowed formerly banned people to reapply as members. I have been assured that I am "self-absorbed" and that the above sock puppet account had nothing to do with me ("Ssanasipreh" is "Herpisanass" spelled backwards, but yes, if that account had nothing to do with me, I am sure that person is being truthful. Unless they're just delusional, or perhaps my favorite: being purposely obtuse) but rather that they wanted to keep up with what we were doing over there. I may be an "ass," but there seem to be more than a few people out there with psychological issues.

When this phenomenon started, I posted once on people like this, terming them the "Bandar-log." For those of you not familiar with the term, let me enlighten you.

Once upon a time, among his other writings, Rudyard Kipling wrote a couple of books called The Jungle Books, part of which involved the adventures of Mowgli, a boy who had been raised by wolves in the jungles of India. As Mowgli was taught the various greetings he was to make to the different "people" (animals) he would encounter in the jungle, he had occasion to get tired of getting swatted around by his teacher, Baloo the Bear, for not learning his lessons properly, and ran into a bunch of "nicer" people -- the monkey people, called the Bandar-log by the rest of the Jungle-People, whom he decided he liked better than his mean old teacher. You see, the monkey people played all day and had all sorts of fun, instead of being mean and evil like old Baloo, who required Mowgli to follow things called rules. Unfortunately, when Mowgli happened to mention his new friends to Baloo and Bagheera the panther after he had gotten over his fit of temper at Baloo, his teachers were not happy. I'm going to tie this all in shortly -- trust me. To preface the remainder of this post, however, let me fill you in on something: most of my detractors are apparently literature-challenged. When I originally made these observations, I was, of course, ridiculed because "Wasn't The Jungle Book a Disney cartoon? -- har, har, har, now Herp's quoting CARTOONS! Guffaw!" -- which alerted me to the fact that there are a lot of people out there who only watch cartoons and videos and never read any of the classics, of which the Jungle Books most certainly are part. The literature-challenged may have problems with this post, so I'm taking a big chance here. In any case, readers, this refers to passages in an actual book (an object you use to do something called "reading") written by Kipling in the late 1800s. That Disney made a kid's cartoon out of pieces of it has nothing to do with Kipling's observations about the Bandar-log, which are drawn directly from knowledge of mobs such as those who feel the need to get people of substance (in contrast to themselves) to notice them. An excerpt:

" Listen, man-cub," said the Bear, and his voice rumbled like thunder on a hot night. "I have taught thee all the Law of the Jungle for all the peoples of the Jungle -- except the Monkey-Folk who live in the trees. They have no law. They are outcasts. They have no speech of their own, but use the stolen words which they overhear when they listen, and peep, and wait up above in the branches. Their way is not our way. They are without leaders. They have no remembrance. They boast and chatter and pretend that they are a great people about to do great affairs in the Jungle, but the falling of a nut turns their minds to laughter and all is forgotten."

Baloo continues:

"The Jungle-People put them out of their mouths and out of their minds. They are very many, evil, dirty, shameless, and they desire, if they have any fixed desire, to be noticed by the Jungle-People. But we do not notice them even when they throw nuts and filth on our heads."

He had hardly spoken when a shower of nuts and twigs spattered down through the branches and they could hear coughing and howlings and angry jumpings high up in the air among the thing branches.

And a little more:

A fresh shower came down on their heads and the two trotted away, taking Mowgli with them. What Baloo had said about the monkeys was perfectly true. They belonged to the tree-tops, and as beasts very seldom look up, there was no occasion for the monkeys and the Jungle-People to cross each other's path. But whenever they found a sick wolf, or a wounded tiger, or bear, the monkeys would torment him, and would throw sticks and nuts at any beast for fun and in the hope of being noticed. Then they would howl and shriek senseless songs, and invite the Jungle-People to climb their trees and fight them (this sort of reminds me of a few people at Patriot's Corner, actually; they're always wanting us to go there and "debate" them, otherwise known as running the gauntlet -- Herp) or would start furious battles over nothing among themselves, and leave the dead monkeys where the Jungle-People could see them.

And one final observation, which fits what I think about these sock-puppet kooks (this is after the monkeys kidnap Mowgli and drag him through the trees away from Baloo and Bagheera):

The Bandar-log howled with triumph and scuffled away to the upper branches where Bagheera dared not follow, shouting: "He has noticed us! Bagheera has noticed us. All the Jungle-People admire us for our skill and our cunning."

So -- "Gatlin," and "Crockett," and "Kate" (God forbid I didn't mention her, as she was crushed that I didn't when this new blog started), not to mention "Ssanasipreh," or "Susanne" -- I have noticed you! I have indeed acknowledged the Bandar-log of the internet, of which you are a proud part, carrying on a proud tradition. As it has become apparent that your life's desire has remained to get me to notice you, I have. I hope this makes your day!

Now go throw nuts and shit at someone else for a change. Whaddaya say?

Oh, and please feel free to howl with triumph.

Love,
Herp